did you get engaged???
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
