Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
COCAINE IS GR8
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
