i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
