you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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