Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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