Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
