He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
