I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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