At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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