I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
