How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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