But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this beer tastes like vomit already
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
