trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
