He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
