i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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