the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
