You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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