hotel room ftw
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
