Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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