So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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