We won't sleep together?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
