I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
