Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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