"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
