im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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