Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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