It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
