Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
