butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
