The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
