super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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