Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
