I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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