i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
