who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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