If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Still dying that you shit outside
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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