yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
