it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
is wine microwaveable?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
