WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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