brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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