no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
