Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
