my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
