Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
