1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
