This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
