you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
