Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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