Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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