real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
