they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
