New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
