Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
