Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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